Guilty, Embarrassing, Humiliating Pleasure - Twilight

Yeah, I read the Twilight series! So what?!

I won’t say I loved it, because that’s almost certainly an overstatement. However, I am most definitely in love with Edward Cullen. Since the majority of the series is an ode to his beauty, it’s easy to be tricked into believing that you loved the books. Ah, Meyer, how crafty and clever you are. No, the story and the characters are static, protagonist Bella Swan is nearly unbearable until the last installment, and you get the overwhelming feeling at the end of the series that nothing actually happened. It’s all very unrealistic, even by the standards of a vampire/romance novel. The best part about the series is that Meyer effectively transforms you into a 13-year-old girl and you have not one, but two amazingly hot superhuman boys to drool over. The worst part is reading about how Bella handled the situation, and knowing that if it were you, you would have milked it for all its worth. Screw the hot, tall, buff Native American boy? Check.

The most humiliating part, unfortunately, is yet to come. The Twilight movie drops next month. Will I be at my local cinema? Yes, indeed. But, at least this is more straightforward. Robert “Gorgeous” Pattinson is playing Edward. Duh, no-brainer. Though, I suspect even he will have trouble living up to the perfection that is Edward Cullen. If Meyer stressed anything, it’s that Edward Cullen is the finest young thang to ever walk the planet, living, dead, or in between. I’m fully prepared to watch him try, though. Oh, yes.