VMA 2009 Post Coverage

Another September, another MTV Video Music Awards broadcast. I'm sure MTV execs long for the days when an audience can be shocked by a pop star in a wedding dress writhing on the floor making sexually suggestive moves. Or even for the days when that same pop star can wow audiences by kissing two women. Alas, those days are gone. Our generation is perpetually unimpressed. But, here's what might have caught your attention this year.

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Of course, no award show could have ignored the biggest thing to happen to pop culture this year: Michael Jackson's death. The tribute to the King of pop was thorough and momentous including a grand speech by Madonna, choreography to some of Michael's greatest hits including Thriller and Bad, and, an icon in her own right, Janet Jackson performing Scream alongside Michael. Say whatever you will, and much has been said, but there will never be another.


The night took a negative turn shortly thereafter when Taylor Swift was awarded Best Female Video. Kanye West took Taylor's win over fellow nominee Beyoncé as a personal affront and took it upon himself to interrupt her acceptance speech, grab the mike from her hands and proclaim that Beyoncé had one of the greatest videos of all time. While what he said was 100% right, how he went about it was 100% wrong: it was incredibly disrespectful to everyone involved, but especially to 19-year-old Taylor. Kanye is an insufferable piece of shit.


Beyoncé later went on to win Video of the Year for Single Ladies and allowed Taylor another shot at her acceptance speech. Leave it to Kanye to make me feel sympathetic towards Taylor Swift (I really don't like that little girl very much).


The Twilight cast (who all looked absolutely miserable) was in attendance to premiere the extended trailer for their impending sequel, New Moon. Not gonna lie, it looks great. Can't wait to see the scenes with the Volturi. And, dear me, did you SEE Edward with his shirt off?! Good heavens.


Finally, Lady GaGa's performance, even after all the hype, was absolutely incredible.
Her vocals were the best I've ever heard them, the set was amazing, the concept brilliantly executed. Awesome, awesome. It's crazy to think that this is her first VMAs and she's only been in the spotlight for a year's time. She's so ahead of the game.

That's pretty much it for this year. Not the worst, not the best. Kinda meh. Below is a list of winners.

Video of the Year: Beyonce Knowles – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga – Poker Face
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem – We Made You
Best Male Video: T.I. ft Rihanna – Live Your Life
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears – Womanizer
Best Rock Video: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me
Best Video (That Should Have Won A Moonman): Beastie Boys – Sabotage
Breakthrough Video: Matt And Kim – Lessons Learned
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi
Best Choreography: Beyonce – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Cinematography: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Direction: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Editing: Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi

The New "It" Boy?

Meet Freddie Stroma. You may have seen him in theaters portraying Cormac McLaggen in the record-breaking sixth installment of the Harry Potter franchise. He's also currently starring in my fantasies. Smokin'. Charming, too. Are we witnessing the birth of the next "it" boy?

From where I'm standing, the title of Hollywood's hottest up-and-coming bundle of muscles and testosterone is up for grabs. The fervor around Chace Crawford, who recently celebrated his 24th birthday, has died down to a quiet simmer. Zefron is now too good for musicals (Footloose would have been awesome), too dumb to drop Vanessa Hudgens, and, frankly, too boring to garner much attention. Reigning hottie Robert Pattinson is still really hot in the Twilight movie and he does have a second one on the way. But as for the in-between time, while RPattz is still as pale and broody as Edward Cullen, he's pale and broody without lighting. Lighting is key. Recent photos of him strolling around NYC kinda kill the magic.

And, let's not forget that RPattz got his big break starring in the fourth Harry Potter film. If Freddie can land himself another prominent role, he can rise up the ranks fairly quickly. I, for one, humbly suggest that he do it wearing as little clothing as possible. Like this: check out his new Acne underwear advertisement.

Twilight: New Moon Trailer

Not bad. My interest isn't necessarily piqued, but it's sustained. Taylor's still not tall enough...

Edward or Jacob? - First Official 'New Moon' Poster

Someone saw the dollar signs and wasted no time in churning out these Twilight films. The second project, New Moon, will see its release just two days after my birthday, only a year after the first movie's release. Here we have the first official poster. Meh. I'm still a tad upset that Taylor Lautner is reprising his role as Jacob (instead of the drastically more attractive Michael Copon) and I'm harboring doubts that he can pull off the role convincingly. Judging by this poster alone he's not looking nearly as tall as he should. R-Pattz is looking as scrumptious as ever though, while mindless twat Kristen Stewart looks just as drab as she wants to be. With the second installment of the franchise approaching, brace yourself to hear much "Team Edward or Team Jacob" chatter amongst 'fanpires' (as if there's any contest). And if you are a fanpire, be sure to watch the 2009 MTV Movie Awards for your first peek at New Moon.

Taylor Lautner vs. Michael Copon - Taylor Victorious

With a new director slated for the next installment of the Twilight film franchise, the role of Jacob Black was apparently up for grabs. Having seen the first film, I was underwhelmed with Taylor Lautner; to be honest, the boy is small and is fresh-faced enough to appear prepubescent. And while that was OK for the first film, there is no way he could pull off the transformation the character goes through without some serious help from CGI.

About a month ago, it was discovered that Michael Copon was vying for the role of Jacob Black in New Moon, and I jumped for joy. There was a time when I was obsessed with Michael, and while I've since gotten over it, I'm a bit shocked that he hasn't yet become a teen idol. He's been around the block and has gotten a decent amount of exposure from his appearances on the Disney Channel, The N, and a short stint on One Tree Hill. Taking up the role of Jacob would have really put him on the map.

Alas, it was not meant to be. The new director, with the support of Stephenie Meyer, has decided to stick with Taylor for New Moon. Opportunity lost, Michael. Since Bella doesn't have the presence of mind to hook up with Jacob anyway, perhaps Taylor's baby face is best. But, keep your head up. You're still smokin'! That's gotta count for something.

Fanpires speak out! Did the role of Jacob Black go to the right hottie?

Robert Pattinson Overload - Twilight Movie Review

So, I just got back from a midnight showing of Twilight. (Yes, I'm embarrassed). The movie, surprise, surprise, didn't get the most favorable of reviews, currently at a 43% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I, myself, have mixed feelings.

First off, if you were already a 'fanpire,' you're gonna love this movie. You'll forgive all of its missteps, swoon every single time Edward Cullen is on screen, and won't want to get up when the lights come back on. Saying the film is faithful to the book makes all of the fans of the series look bad, but perhaps deservedly so, as I really think everything important in the book was included in the movie, including the unabashedly cheesy, lame, and campy parts. The movie, like the series, is somewhere between succeeding and failing, but the series is earnest enough and the film had Robert Pattinson, so we forgive, and in most cases, allow ourselves to become obsessed.

Bella, Edward, and Alice especially are all well-cast. No one else looks the way they're supposed to (except maybe the enemy vamps) but it doesn't really matter. Well, it's a tad disappointing when it comes to the rest of Edward's family, but we move on. There are a few good laughs, some intended and others, not so much. Robert Pattinson is so ridiculously gorgeous that it makes you uncomfortable. I've never been affected by an actor that way before. It's insane. If the movie translated anything accurately from the books, it's Edward and his beauty.

If you weren't already into the books, I highly doubt the movie will draw you in. If you're a gay male or straight female you'll be entertained at least, but you won't necessarily like it. Either way, the film is on its way to making a bumload of money, so the sequels are inevitable. I think the reviews are accurate, but, like any cult following, it's defiant of logic and reason. Mythology and hot boys just work. Gratuitous Robert, below.

Robert Pattinson, take me now... - Twilight Trailer

Uh, there's no keeping me away from the movie theater that Friday.

Guilty, Embarrassing, Humiliating Pleasure - Twilight

Yeah, I read the Twilight series! So what?!

I won’t say I loved it, because that’s almost certainly an overstatement. However, I am most definitely in love with Edward Cullen. Since the majority of the series is an ode to his beauty, it’s easy to be tricked into believing that you loved the books. Ah, Meyer, how crafty and clever you are. No, the story and the characters are static, protagonist Bella Swan is nearly unbearable until the last installment, and you get the overwhelming feeling at the end of the series that nothing actually happened. It’s all very unrealistic, even by the standards of a vampire/romance novel. The best part about the series is that Meyer effectively transforms you into a 13-year-old girl and you have not one, but two amazingly hot superhuman boys to drool over. The worst part is reading about how Bella handled the situation, and knowing that if it were you, you would have milked it for all its worth. Screw the hot, tall, buff Native American boy? Check.

The most humiliating part, unfortunately, is yet to come. The Twilight movie drops next month. Will I be at my local cinema? Yes, indeed. But, at least this is more straightforward. Robert “Gorgeous” Pattinson is playing Edward. Duh, no-brainer. Though, I suspect even he will have trouble living up to the perfection that is Edward Cullen. If Meyer stressed anything, it’s that Edward Cullen is the finest young thang to ever walk the planet, living, dead, or in between. I’m fully prepared to watch him try, though. Oh, yes.