VMA 2009 Post Coverage

Another September, another MTV Video Music Awards broadcast. I'm sure MTV execs long for the days when an audience can be shocked by a pop star in a wedding dress writhing on the floor making sexually suggestive moves. Or even for the days when that same pop star can wow audiences by kissing two women. Alas, those days are gone. Our generation is perpetually unimpressed. But, here's what might have caught your attention this year.

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Of course, no award show could have ignored the biggest thing to happen to pop culture this year: Michael Jackson's death. The tribute to the King of pop was thorough and momentous including a grand speech by Madonna, choreography to some of Michael's greatest hits including Thriller and Bad, and, an icon in her own right, Janet Jackson performing Scream alongside Michael. Say whatever you will, and much has been said, but there will never be another.


The night took a negative turn shortly thereafter when Taylor Swift was awarded Best Female Video. Kanye West took Taylor's win over fellow nominee Beyoncé as a personal affront and took it upon himself to interrupt her acceptance speech, grab the mike from her hands and proclaim that Beyoncé had one of the greatest videos of all time. While what he said was 100% right, how he went about it was 100% wrong: it was incredibly disrespectful to everyone involved, but especially to 19-year-old Taylor. Kanye is an insufferable piece of shit.


Beyoncé later went on to win Video of the Year for Single Ladies and allowed Taylor another shot at her acceptance speech. Leave it to Kanye to make me feel sympathetic towards Taylor Swift (I really don't like that little girl very much).


The Twilight cast (who all looked absolutely miserable) was in attendance to premiere the extended trailer for their impending sequel, New Moon. Not gonna lie, it looks great. Can't wait to see the scenes with the Volturi. And, dear me, did you SEE Edward with his shirt off?! Good heavens.


Finally, Lady GaGa's performance, even after all the hype, was absolutely incredible.
Her vocals were the best I've ever heard them, the set was amazing, the concept brilliantly executed. Awesome, awesome. It's crazy to think that this is her first VMAs and she's only been in the spotlight for a year's time. She's so ahead of the game.

That's pretty much it for this year. Not the worst, not the best. Kinda meh. Below is a list of winners.

Video of the Year: Beyonce Knowles – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga – Poker Face
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem – We Made You
Best Male Video: T.I. ft Rihanna – Live Your Life
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears – Womanizer
Best Rock Video: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me
Best Video (That Should Have Won A Moonman): Beastie Boys – Sabotage
Breakthrough Video: Matt And Kim – Lessons Learned
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi
Best Choreography: Beyonce – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Cinematography: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Direction: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Editing: Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi

Janet on Michael, Chris Brown v. Oprah!, Lady GaGa's Hot Vag

A mum Janet Jackson has decided to pierce her silence regarding her brother's untimely death. The icon is set to cover the next Harper's Bazaar issue with an exclusive interview. Jackson is also working on her next film, Tyler Perry's How Did I Get Married, Too and is reportedly in the early stages of recording her 11th studio album, the follow-up to last year's Discipline. I'll be interested to hear the differences in her new material now that she has split from Def Jam and boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. At the very least, we can hope that Janet finds a label willing to promote more than one single.

Michael Jackson, who passed away over two months ago, was finally laid to rest yesterday, September 3rd. The lavish ceremony was befitting the king of popular music, whose legacy will undoubtedly continue to influence and inspire aspiring musicians for decades to come.

An audacious Chris Brown, apparently unimpressed with the pity party following his abrupt and much deserved fall from grace, has gone on record against Oprah in a recent interview. When asked about his feelings regarding Oprah's show focusing on abuse shortly after his assault against Rihanna, the brazen buffoon had the blazing gall to say this:

"I commend Oprah on being like, 'This is a problem,' but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, 'Okay, I'm going to help both of these people out.'"

Ummm, how about "no," bitch.

Of course, this little stunt didn't elicit a direct response from the Big O herself, but her people quickly responded:

"Oprah is very appreciative that Chris Brown performed at her school but she takes domestic abuse very seriously. She hopes he gets the counseling he needs."

Yes. Get help, asshole. Singing for children in Africa may sound like the ultimate tool for exoneration, but it doesn't mean the most influential woman in America should condone your disgusting behavior. Go get that counseling -- and stay off our radios and television sets in the meantime. Dick.

Lady GaGa is quite busy kicking ass and taking names, thank you very much. While making the rounds promoting her solo tour in Australia, our fair Lady was queried about the hermy rumors on a morning show in Brisbane. When asked about the "tiny penis issue" and whether the rumors offended or embarrassed her, GaGa retorted with:

"My beautiful vagina is very offended. I'm not offended — my vagina is offended. I've sold four million records in six months. I'm not embarrassed about anything. Those rumors [are based on] society's reaction to a strong woman — the idea that we equate strength with a man and a penis as a symbol of male strength."

Sadly, while her response was more than a little pretentious, feminist, and self-important, she's probably right. And I still love her.

M.A.L.R. pays his amazing, hilarious respects...

OH. EM. GEE. That was awesome. And creepy!! Love the Weegee Smooth Criminal lean!! Michael has never been more alive!

Crystal Kay's 'Human Nature'

Ahh, I may have to just rechristen my blog "Crystal Kay Central." But, since they took the amazing, amazing live video of すき (Suki) down (I'm so upset) I had to share this one with you guys. I mentioned in an earlier post that Crystal Kay did a cover of the late (so weird to say) Michael Jackson's Human Nature and now we have the full video. Check it out.

Farewell

Uh-oh, now you've done it... - Rolling Stone names Greatest 100 Singers of All Time

This list will, no doubt, spark its fair share of controversy. But, to those who are pissy about the low ranks their idols received, or in some cases the no-ranks, I say: when you run your own magazine, you can make your list anyway you see fit.

Aretha Franklin tops the list, and agree or disagree, she is a formidable woman with an amazing career that's still going strong. Ray Charles and Elvis Presley round out the top three. Keep in mind, Rolling Stone are judging artists not on their vocal ability but rather on their importance. No surprise, then, that most of those who made the list were born in the 30s and 40s, influencing the greats to come behind them.

However, some younger generations were represented. #25 on the list goes to Michael Jackson. Prince made #30 and Whitney Houston placed 34th. Get 'em Whitney.

And, it seems that 2006's Back to Basics, Christina Aguilera's tribute to the greats, paid off. Christina, born in 1980, is the youngest on the list by a decade, taking the #58 spot. Congrats, darling. Closest in age to make the list is Mariah Carey, born in 1970, and placing 79th.