TV Review: Cycle 13: Smaller Girls, Bigger Crazy

Tyra's back, and of course, she's bringing the crazy. For this unbelievable thirteenth cycle (like, seriously can you imagine this show ending?) Tyra has opened up the doors to aspiring young models shorter than 5'7". This is a bit of a stretch considering even the tall winners of ANTM have only seen limited, scattered success, but there's no contradicting Tyra.

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Rae

Even though it's 'Le Cycle 13,' the general formula of the show is mostly unchanged with the exception of the shorter girls' inclusion. Oh, and Paulina Porizkova is gone. She'll be replaced by a different guest judge every week. Paulina was kind of weird and annoying, and new guest judges are more exciting besides. So, not exactly 'good riddance' but you won't actually 'be missed' either.

Sundai

As is typical, the premiere ran for two hours with the 14 finalists selected at the end of the first hour. But the first hour of a season of ANTM is like the auditions for American Idol. Pure comedy. Amber, possibly the most insane, hilarious girl I've even seen on the show actually made it through to the final 14, but as she probably is actually insane, she dropped out shortly after, replaced by a Mila Kunis wannabe (who ended up the first girl to get the boot). It was actually sad seeing all the girls eliminated this time around. You know they're so short that this was really a one-shot opportunity... Oh, well!

Nicole

The biggest difference in this cycle in my opinion isn't the girls' height but how gorgeous so many of them are. Sure, it's a modeling competition and there are always a couple girls in every cycle that are beautiful but I spent most of last night saying "She's so pretty..." That or "Wow, this bitch is crazy!"Usually I'm squinting at the screen trying to see what Tyra is seeing, but all the girls look like models this time around and the vast majority are breathtaking on film. It's one of the best bunches she's gotten together. My only issue is Bianca. Damn, did we really need another bald, black bitch?? Nnenna and Sandra and now this chick. These girls don't love themselves, they're insecurities are plain as day. Giving dark-skinned girls a bad name.

Kara

As this is the thirteenth cycle, I'm sure you know by know whether you like ANTM or not. I can only tell you that this season stands up to the ones that came before it, and has the potential to be even better. Instead of the bitchy catfights to come, I'm actually looking forward to seeing these gorgeous girls compete. Pictured above are the girls I think have the most potential. Agree? Glee and ANTM Wednesdays for me, yeee.

Rating: 7/10

Will you be watching Top Model this season?? Which girls do you like the best?? Sound off! Leave a comment.

Check out reviews to the other shows premiering this fall!!

Fall Premieres - Reviews

It's that time again. Time for fall premieres! What shows will you be watching this season? Check back here throughout the next few weeks to read impressions of the shows once they air and see what's worth following this fall. Am I missing a show on the calendar?? Did I get a show's review totally wrong?? Give me feedback and I'll follow your favorites. 

Pass

Melrose Place

Glee

ANTM

Fail

The Vampire Diaries

90210

Eek! September!! Fall TV Premieres!!

Ah, it's September! Can anyone else believe that summer's over and the year's almost through?? I know, right?

Along with the end of summer, September also means "back to school" and, infinitely less depressing, season premieres. Most anticipated on my list are the antics of our favorite Upper East Siders on GG. Considering all the crazy shit that went down while they were in high school, one can only imagine what's in store for their college years. But you won't have too much time to ponder all the trouble Blair can conjure up in NYU; new Gossip Girl episodes start on the 14th.

If GG doesn't tickle your fancy, fret not; there's a veritable panoply of premieres to enjoy this September. The second season of 90210 and the recycled, nay, revamped Melrose Place both premiere next Tuesday, the 8th. A whopping 13th cycle of America's Next Top Model starts next Wednesday, the 9th, along with the series premiere of the highly anticipated Glee. Damn, hasn't Tyra run out of ideas?? The sad reality is that she probably has...

More vamp fever!!; Ian Somerhalder stars in what's sure to be the newest blood-sucking craze, Vampire Diaries. See Ian's fangs and his dreamy, dreamy eyes on the 10th. Heroes makes its return on the 21st; hopefully the team behind the once-phenomenal series can resurrect the show from its messy, boring, convoluted ashes. My advice: kill someone off, and MORE POWERS!

Crystal Kay's second compilation drops tomorrow, yeeeee!! I currently have all three discs of Best of Crystal Kay on repeat and Kuri can be very proud of her body of work; not only are the new songs absolute FIRE but most of the oldies stand up to time really well. Make sure to get your copy -- it's the best introduction to Crystal Kay you can get, and the ultimate collection of hits if you're already a long-standing fan.

Happy September, luhvahs.

Tyra may murder me... - More hotness from MMAS Cycle 2

I am absolutely hooked on Make Me a Supermodel this cycle. The show has improved so much over last season and it's really everything I could ask from a show about modeling. Everything. Which is why I haven't bothered to watch America's Next Top Model in over a month. I've been walking around campus looking over my shoulder every now and again, knowing Tyra has sent Miss J out to kill me. I'm such a traitor. But, I'm sorry. ANTM just doesn't have hot man candy like this...

And, no, Jay "Pencil" Manuel does not count as man candy. MMAS is such a better show. Jonathan, pictured above, totally booked a 2xist campaign, while on the show. Unheard of in ANTM. The models on MMAS go on go-sees every week, instead of once a season, and actually book jobs instead of just finding out if they would hypothetically be booked. It's just awesome, OK? Here's some more fabulosity from this cycle. Drooling allowed and encouraged.

Can't get enough? Check out this cycles models dressed up as candy.

My New Guilty, Sinful, Debaucherous Pleasure - Make Me a Supermodel

So I've been gone for a bit. Blame finals week. After that was done, I celebrated finals week ending with lots and lots of alcohol. And now it's spring break! And I'm not going anywhere with sand or waves so that's about as much as I'm willing to say on the subject.


Anyb*tch, the new seasons of CW's America's Next Top Model and Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel started a few weeks back and I'm watching both. Tyra's on to her twelfth cycle (ridiculous) and the show is still as entertaining as ever. Anyone who's watched as much ANTM as me knows Tyra picks half the girls for their modeling potential and the other half for comedic value. And, Tyra certainly knows how to pick 'em! I really don't think any of the girls will be successful as models, with the exception of maybe Sandra, who's gorgeous but also a raging b*tch. Self-proclaimed 'Blaxican,' Fo, is super-duper cute, but models are not, so... yeah.


Make Me a Supermodel, on the other hand, is actually what one would expect a modeling competition to be, and then some. I've been saying for years that Tyra should put aspiring male models on her show as well; her core audience is undoubtedly made up of females and gay men who would definitely appreciate some hard pectorals and dreamy jawlines thrown in amongst the catty b*tchfights. Make Me a Supermodel incorporates said dreamy jawlines AND actually makes some semblance of sense. MMAS, 2, ANTM, 0. Top Model, however, has Tyra Banks, our favorite, industrious ex-supermodel who hasn't a modicum of sanity left to her name. Tyson Beckford, though hella fine, simply cannot compete. And besides, how many shows, silly modeling competitions or otherwise, stay on the air for twelve seasons these days?

Top Model has definitely had some cool photo shoots over the years, but I found this idea from MMAS particularly sweet. Here's some eye candy (lame a** pun intended) from a recent episode.

P.S. I ♥ Colin.

Wanna be on top? - McKey Wins America's Next Top Model

Another season of ANTM has come and gone (and once again, I won no money at all in my fantasy pool). My favorites from this season, Sheena and Marjorie, made it abroad at least, but out of the final three girls, McKey was the clear standout and she took the title to replace last season's plus-size winner, Whitney (thank Christ). Oh, and Isis, the first tranny ever to be put on the show (which is really cool, actually) is officially getting a brand spankin' new vajayjay, courtesy of Tyra. Yay, vajayjay!