I raved about how fantastic I think Glee is in my review of the season opener yesterday, but for those of you who need a little more convincing, check out two songs from Wednesday night's episode. (If you're already a Gleek, consider this a treat =]). First up is the Glee Club's take on Kanye West's Gold Digger. Rachel's (Lea Michele) cover of Take a Bow by Rihanna follows. Listen and enjoy, luhvahs.
Vampire Diaries made its debut on the CW tonight without much bite. While I'm not familiar with the series of books the show is based on, I have seen all seven seasons of Buffy (multiple times), read the Twilight series and seen the movie (again, multiple times) and am waiting on pins and needles for the second season finale of True Blood on Sunday. I know vampires. I know they're hot right now. And it would seem that Vampire Diaries’ lifeless (in a bad way) pilot is the CW's attempt to cash in on the bloody cow. Or something like that. (I like malapropisms! And parenthetical thoughts!!)
Nina Dobrev, another Degrassi alumnus to get a break in Hollywood and star in her own show on the CW (You hear that, Cassie Steele?! You let TWO girls cut in front of you!!), plays Elena, a high school girl struggling with the loss of her parents. Surely, whoever employed Nina as the lead in this show has reviewed her work on Degrassi? Apparently, they overlooked her limited talent. In Vampire Diaries, that oversight is glaring; she plays Elena completely flat and her awkwardness in the scenes with lead vampire, Stefan, is cringe inspiring. I mean, I know her parents just died a few months ago, but damn, nothing brings you back to life like bumping into a smolderingly hot vampire in the hallway. Act like you know, girl."Dobrev plays Elena awkwardly and completely flat…kinda like the way she played Mia on Degrassi."
Stefan, played by Paul Wesley, is perfect. The square jaw, the piercing eyes, the cute butt. He is exactly how I imagined Edward Cullen to be while reading the Twilight series. Robert Pattinson added in his own dorkiness, but it added to the charm and ended up working. Paul, however, has classic vampire down. Stefan starts off the episode saying, "I have to know her," 'her' denoting Elena, and I spent the first half hour wondering why in the hell anyone, dead or alive, would want to get to know her. It definitely isn’t her personality!
Lastly, there is Damon, the evil vampire played by Ian Somerhalder. Firstly, just to get it out of the way: Ian needs a haircut. Besides that, he’s pretty generic. While his brother, Stefan, has decided to live amongst people and live off the blood of animals, Damon, clearly a voluptuary, has not. And of course, he has this nasty grudge against his dear brother and likes to see him suffer. Not only was the pilot a solid hour of "meet the characters," but also the plot of episodes to come seem easily predictable, especially with the show’s similarities to the other popular vampire stories of the moment. I think the only way they’ll get viewers to stick around is if everyone is really hot and there’s vampire sex."The only way viewers will stick around is if there’s lots and lots of vampire sex."
Well, it’s the CW -- so yeah, everyone’s really hot. Elena’s psychic best friend, her acquaintances, her ex-boyfriend (dear god), her ex-boyfriend’s sister, and even her little brother are all insanely attractive. Clearly, I need to move to Mystic Falls. The vampire sex thing remains to be seen. But they’ll do the right thing if they’re smart. As it’s only the pilot, I’ll be giving the Vampire Diaries another shot to surprise me next week. There better be less clothing.Rating:5/10
Too harsh?? Too nice?? Sound off! Leave a comment.
Tyra's back, and of course, she's bringing the crazy. For this unbelievable thirteenth cycle (like, seriously can you imagine this show ending?) Tyra has opened up the doors to aspiring young models shorter than 5'7". This is a bit of a stretch considering even the tall winners of ANTM have only seen limited, scattered success, but there's no contradicting Tyra.
Rae
Even though it's 'Le Cycle 13,' the general formula of the show is mostly unchanged with the exception of the shorter girls' inclusion. Oh, and Paulina Porizkova is gone. She'll be replaced by a different guest judge every week. Paulina was kind of weird and annoying, and new guest judges are more exciting besides. So, not exactly 'good riddance' but you won't actually 'be missed' either.
Sundai
As is typical, the premiere ran for two hours with the 14 finalists selected at the end of the first hour. But the first hour of a season of ANTM is like the auditions for American Idol. Pure comedy. Amber, possibly the most insane, hilarious girl I've even seen on the show actually made it through to the final 14, but as she probably is actually insane, she dropped out shortly after, replaced by a Mila Kunis wannabe (who ended up the first girl to get the boot). It was actually sad seeing all the girls eliminated this time around. You know they're so short that this was really a one-shot opportunity... Oh, well!
Nicole
The biggest difference in this cycle in my opinion isn't the girls' height but how gorgeous so many of them are. Sure, it's a modeling competition and there are always a couple girls in every cycle that are beautiful but I spent most of last night saying "She's so pretty..." That or "Wow, this bitch is crazy!"Usually I'm squinting at the screen trying to see what Tyra is seeing, but all the girls look like models this time around and the vast majority are breathtaking on film. It's one of the best bunches she's gotten together. My only issue is Bianca. Damn, did we really need another bald, black bitch?? Nnenna and Sandra and now this chick. These girls don't love themselves, they're insecurities are plain as day. Giving dark-skinned girls a bad name.
Kara
As this is the thirteenth cycle, I'm sure you know by know whether you like ANTM or not. I can only tell you that this season stands up to the ones that came before it, and has the potential to be even better. Instead of the bitchy catfights to come, I'm actually looking forward to seeing these gorgeous girls compete. Pictured above are the girls I think have the most potential. Agree? Glee and ANTM Wednesdays for me, yeee.Rating: 7/10
Will you be watching Top Model this season?? Which girls do you like the best?? Sound off! Leave a comment.
Glee. Is. Amazing.
Because of all the hype surrounding this show since the pilot episode aired a few months back, I decided to wait for the series' proper premiere to watch the show. I mean, why suffer all summer? Turns out I was (unusually) prescient in this instance; I couldn't imagine waiting three months to see the next episode!"Glee had me literally L-O-Ling from start to finish. Comedic gold."
Glee had me laughing out loud from start to finish. The humor is quick, biting, and relentless. There was much garbling about stereotypical, unoriginal characters after the pilot aired, but while the social hierarchy of the students may be archetypal, I have never seen these characters before. The satire turns everyone inside out, and while you think you know what roles these characters will play, it's wildly entertaining to watch them surprise you over and over again.
If this ensemble cast has a main character, it's Will, the hot Spanish teacher who becomes Glee Club director, played by Matthew Morrison. The show shuffles back and forth between his home life with his demanding, conniving wife and his school life concerning his relations with the rest of the staff and his Glee students. Rachel, played by Lea Michele, is the leader of Glee Club, passionately devoted to her craft and developing her talent, and the object of ridicule for the competing cheerleading squad and the football team. The rest of the Glee Club is made up of Finn, a conflicted jock with a big voice, Mercedes, a black R&B diva with a bigger voice (she is "Beyoncé, not Kelly Rowland!"), Kurt, a flamboyant, headstrong tenor in fierce designer fashions, Tina, an Asian goth chick with a stutter, and finally, the paraplegic Artie. It took me a while to place him, but I finally realized that Artie is played by Kevin from NLT(!!). You can't fool me with those glasses and that wheelchair, Kevin. I still see all that fine."'I tried [bulimia], but I don't have a gag reflex.' 'When you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift.'"
Of course, I expected the show to focus mainly on the kids, their hilarious antics and awesome talent. So I was a tad nervous to discover that it was mainly narrated around Will's point of view. Like, if there's one thing I couldn't stand about Degrassi, it was all the plotlines surrounding the adults. Who really cares about Spike and Snake's marriage? Not me. But, Will, again, is super hot, and Emma, the guidance counselor who holds a candle for married Will is so cute with her mysophobia. Not to mention, Sue, played by the superb Jane Lynch. She absolutely steals every single scene she's in. Brilliantly funny."The ensemble cast is phenomenally talented; they really make the show special."
Now, brace yourself for the cheesy part. There's no better title for the show than Glee. As bitchy as everyone and despite all the facades the characters put up, the show manages to be incredibly heartwarming at times. This is, in large part, thanks to the music. There are three or four numbers per episode and it's really when everything clicks and comes together. Possibly my favorite thing about the show is how positive the message is about the arts without being preachy or uncool. All the kids in Glee Club are committing social suicide but they do it because they love it. And while we're on the subject of the music, Mercedes took Kanye's Gold Digger to church last night and Rachel straight-up killed Rihanna's Take A Bow. She reminds me of a mini Idina Menzel. I can potentially see that dancing and singing along with a sitcom is not everyone's thing. But it's a dream come true for me."There is no better title for this show. Glee says it all. Love it, can't recommend it enough."
All in all, I can't recommend Glee enough. I loved every minute of it. The cast is extremely talented, the writing fresh and inventive, and the music phenomenal. There's no where else you should be on Wednesday nights.Rating: 9/10
Oh Em Glee, did you love it too?? Or do you think it's just a stupid musical pretending to be a sitcom?? Sound off! Leave a comment.
The series premiere of the revamped Melrose Place aired tonight and color me surprised when 5 minutes in I didn't want to shoot myself and 20 minutes in I was actually into it. MP was not nearly as lame as I expected it to be. While that's normally a snide, queeny judgment, this time it's actually a compliment!"Melrose Place may just be what the CW has been missing."
The CW has the 90210 kiddies with the emotional ranges of 8-year-olds, and it has the Gossip Girl socialites who are clearly grown up but restricted by the limitations of their high school roles. But, Melrose Place may just be what the CW has been missing: an adult drama. There's nothing holding the characters in MP back from taking it to the next level, and judging from the premiere, they won't disappoint.
First off, let me get it out of the way and say that everyone is hot. Duh, it's the CW. The show began with a half-naked Michael Rady (hence my rapt attention) who is ridiculously attractive and teasingly put his shirt on far too soon. And then of course there's the hot girlfriend, Riley, played by a Jessica Lucas migrated from 90210, and all the other fabulously beautiful residents. The gate on 4616 Melrose Place must read "You can't move in unless you're pretty.""Michael Rady puts his shirt on way too quickly..."
The characters' beauty aside, the most intriguing aspect of the first episode was the juxtaposition of the goody-goodies and the ones who seemed to have misplaced their moral compasses. There's the earnest videographer pedaling his amateur film against the slutty, drug-abusing thief. There's the compassionate doctor-in-training versus the haughty, bisexual publicist who takes what she wants. The conflicts work because they're plausible and relatable: What would you do if someone offered you $5000 in tuition money in exchange for sex? (Mm, no comment). Or maybe you'd blackmail and exploit your way into stardom if you had the opportunity. All this combined with a murder in the first ten minutes of the show, and the subsequent whodunit, and Melrose Place becomes a dizzying, yet absorbing drama. Which totally knocked me down on my ass because I expected it to suck."The series' intrigue lies in its diverse range of characters; the good boys and girls mixed in with the grittier characters makes for absorbing television."
I guess I expected Melrose Place to be so bad because every time I heard about it or saw an advertisement, I would see Ashlee Simpson. Producers, pay attention: this is what we call 'poor marketing.' After the drab hour spent watching 90210, MP seemed like an oasis in a programming desert. I'll definitely be checking back next week to see if it was all a mirage, or if the show can make good on its promise and become even half as tantalizingly addictive as the original.Rating: 8/10
Did you love it, too?? Or maybe you hated it and you think I'm a moron?? Sound off! Leave a comment.
90210 came back from the grave, or wherever it is that cancelled TV shows go and now it's back for its second season. Hot guys and scantily clad girls rampaging wild and loose in Beverly Hills, yeeeeee!! Wait. What's with all the suck??
The show's leading ladies are legitimately gorgeous, especially queen bee Naomi, played by AnnaLynne McCord, whose venomous facial expressions are something every self-respecting gay boy should be practicing in the mirror. But all the slow-motion scenes of the girls in itsy bitsy bikinis at the private pool club or strutting the school hallways in chic ensembles (Silver looked fabulous, didn't she?) isn't enough to overlook the show's stunning lack of decent dialogue. Wait, maybe 'decent' is too high a standard? How about any dialogue at all?? None of the characters actually talk to one another; there is only self-absorbed ranting that no one onscreen actually pays any attention to. 80% of the forced, contrived drama that will indubitably be rehashed on the show until at least January could have been resolved in the first episode if any of the characters cared to actually carry on a conversation.
It's that time again. Time for fall premieres! What shows will you be watching this season? Check back here throughout the next few weeks to read impressions of the shows once they air and see what's worth following this fall. Am I missing a show on the calendar?? Did I get a show's review totally wrong?? Give me feedback and I'll follow your favorites. PassFail
At the conclusion of season two of GG, Chuck and Blair finally dispensed with all the excuses and admitted their love to each other (at the same time). Heartwarming, wasn't it? The evil schemes these two will plot together this season is one of my main reasons for tuning in. Early buzz for the third season reveals that one of those schemes will involve our favorite motherChucker getting in touch with the roots of his literary counterpart. That is to say, Chuck will (however briefly) be playing for the other team. Will he be getting hot and heavy with his best frenemy Nate?? Read on to find out...
Meet Neal Bledsoe. No, Chuck won't be making out with Nate *pout*. But, I mean, c'mon, how could they explain that? No, Ed will have to settle for Mr. Bledsoe instead, who may not be quite as dreamy as Chace Crawford, but is certainly handsome as far as consolations go. The relatively unknown Bledsoe will play an influential alumnus that Blair will need to manipulate to get her way. Enter a seductive Chuck. Ah, can't wait!
In a recent interview, Neal was asked about his reaction to the role and the slightly controversial smooch. He asserted: "Things like that shouldn’t matter. Unfortunately for some actors things like that do matter and they’ll turn down projects because of it. I thought it was a really fun episode. I had an awesome time doing it. And I think it would’ve been a shame if I was not open-minded enough to do the episode simply because I had to kiss another man."
Um, swoon. Can we keep him?
Sadly, it would seem that Neal is only sticking around for the one, steamy episode. But, silver lining: he's also scored a role in the upcoming Sex and the City sequel. Good on you, Neal! There's literally four pictures of Bledsoe on the internet as of this posting. But if he keeps pleasing the gays like this, we'll make sure he has a steady paycheck.
Ah, it's September! Can anyone else believe that summer's over and the year's almost through?? I know, right?
Along with the end of summer, September also means "back to school" and, infinitely less depressing, season premieres. Most anticipated on my list are the antics of our favorite Upper East Siders on GG. Considering all the crazy shit that went down while they were in high school, one can only imagine what's in store for their college years. But you won't have too much time to ponder all the trouble Blair can conjure up in NYU; new Gossip Girl episodes start on the 14th.
If GG doesn't tickle your fancy, fret not; there's a veritable panoply of premieres to enjoy this September. The second season of 90210 and the recycled, nay, revamped Melrose Place both premiere next Tuesday, the 8th. A whopping 13th cycle of America's Next Top Model starts next Wednesday, the 9th, along with the series premiere of the highly anticipated Glee. Damn, hasn't Tyra run out of ideas?? The sad reality is that she probably has...
More vamp fever!!; Ian Somerhalder stars in what's sure to be the newest blood-sucking craze, Vampire Diaries. See Ian's fangs and his dreamy, dreamy eyes on the 10th. Heroes makes its return on the 21st; hopefully the team behind the once-phenomenal series can resurrect the show from its messy, boring, convoluted ashes. My advice: kill someone off, and MORE POWERS!
Crystal Kay's second compilation drops tomorrow, yeeeee!! I currently have all three discs of Best of Crystal Kay on repeat and Kuri can be very proud of her body of work; not only are the new songs absolute FIRE but most of the oldies stand up to time really well. Make sure to get your copy -- it's the best introduction to Crystal Kay you can get, and the ultimate collection of hits if you're already a long-standing fan.
I am absolutely hooked on Make Me a Supermodel this cycle. The show has improved so much over last season and it's really everything I could ask from a show about modeling. Everything. Which is why I haven't bothered to watch America's Next Top Model in over a month. I've been walking around campus looking over my shoulder every now and again, knowing Tyra has sent Miss J out to kill me. I'm such a traitor. But, I'm sorry. ANTM just doesn't have hot man candy like this...
And, no, Jay "Pencil" Manuel does not count as man candy. MMAS is such a better show. Jonathan, pictured above, totally booked a 2xist campaign, while on the show. Unheard of in ANTM. The models on MMAS go on go-sees every week, instead of once a season, and actually book jobs instead of just finding out if they would hypothetically be booked. It's just awesome, OK? Here's some more fabulosity from this cycle. Drooling allowed and encouraged.
Little tidbit about the man behind nodnarb: HUGE Buffy freak. When Buffy died at the end of season five, I cried like a baby. Though I did eventually find closure after the show ended in 2003, there is still a void in my heart where SMG should be, patrolling with a blonde ponytail, silver hoops, and a leather jacket and roundhousing enemy vamps while wearing heels. Sigh… Give me a moment to collect myself…
Fast forward to 2009 and Joss Whedon (whom I love) and Eliza Dushku (whom I love, platonically) have teamed up again for his newest project, Dollhouse. The series follows Echo (Dushku) and other “Dolls” who have had their own memories wiped, been imprinted with false memories and personas, and programmed to serve a client’s needs. These needs range from tailor-made girlfriend to ass-beating assassins. While not the most novel of ideas, Whedon has a knack for making the tried and true seem brand new. And to be fair, what is exactly original in sci-fi these days anyway? In his typical fashion, Dollhouse is clever, smart, unpredictable, and engaging. Moreover, Eliza’s often in hot outfits kicking the s*** out of people. What more would one ask for, I wonder. To her credit, Dushku pulls off the acting challenge of being recreated every week quite well. While I do love the surly, broody Faith, Echo has certainly begun to grow on me.
In short, if you’re into this type of s***, you need to check Dollhouse out. Chances are, with its god-awful time slot, plenty of people are missing out. Whedon seems convinced that FOX isn’t going to screw him over again (*cough* Firefly), but I’m not so sure. Friday nights at 9 is simply murder for a new show.
I started randomly humming this tonight, realized what it was from, and YouTubed it immediately. I watched it twice and now I miss Nickelodeon (the real Nickelodeon, for all you smart people named Alec) so badly, I think I might just shed a tear.
Ronnie Matthews was such a clown a** b*tch. I remember my cousin and I used to call this the Britney Spears episode. We felt Phoebe's pain. Helga is ride or die, though. Damn, this show was so good.
So I've been gone for a bit. Blame finals week. After that was done, I celebrated finals week ending with lots and lots of alcohol. And now it's spring break! And I'm not going anywhere with sand or waves so that's about as much as I'm willing to say on the subject.
Anyb*tch, the new seasons of CW's America's Next Top Model and Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel started a few weeks back and I'm watching both. Tyra's on to her twelfth cycle (ridiculous) and the show is still as entertaining as ever. Anyone who's watched as much ANTM as me knows Tyra picks half the girls for their modeling potential and the other half for comedic value. And, Tyra certainly knows how to pick 'em! I really don't think any of the girls will be successful as models, with the exception of maybe Sandra, who's gorgeous but also a raging b*tch. Self-proclaimed 'Blaxican,' Fo, is super-duper cute, but models are not, so... yeah.
Make Me a Supermodel, on the other hand, is actually what one would expect a modeling competition to be, and then some. I've been saying for years that Tyra should put aspiring male models on her show as well; her core audience is undoubtedly made up of females and gay men who would definitely appreciate some hard pectorals and dreamy jawlines thrown in amongst the catty b*tchfights. Make Me a Supermodel incorporates said dreamy jawlines AND actually makes some semblance of sense. MMAS, 2, ANTM, 0. Top Model, however, has Tyra Banks, our favorite, industrious ex-supermodel who hasn't a modicum of sanity left to her name. Tyson Beckford, though hella fine, simply cannot compete. And besides, how many shows, silly modeling competitions or otherwise, stay on the air for twelve seasons these days?
Top Model has definitely had some cool photo shoots over the years, but I found this idea from MMAS particularly sweet. Here's some eye candy (lame a** pun intended) from a recent episode.
P.S. I ♥ Colin.
Skins is upon us. The new season starts this Thursday, the 22nd with an all-new cast aside from the lovely Effy and her friend Pandora who made a brief appearance during season two. If I'm being honest, Gossip Girl has fallen off from last season's greatness and so I'm looking forward to getting sucked in by another show. I was a little worried about the decision to drop the cast, but I frankly don't think I could handle another season with those f***ed up characters. I think anyone who knows the show will agree that Effy alone is reminder enough of the bedlam.
Check out the beginning of the first episode, courtesy of our generous friends over at E4.
Another season of ANTM has come and gone (and once again, I won no money at all in my fantasy pool). My favorites from this season, Sheena and Marjorie, made it abroad at least, but out of the final three girls, McKey was the clear standout and she took the title to replace last season's plus-size winner, Whitney (thank Christ). Oh, and Isis, the first tranny ever to be put on the show (which is really cool, actually) is officially getting a brand spankin' new vajayjay, courtesy of Tyra. Yay, vajayjay!
This won’t be a full-fledged rant, because, frankly, I don’t have the strength. But if this show isn’t a piece of crap, I don’t know what is. And I thought last season was bad! Granted, we’re only like four episodes in, but I get a headache every Monday night at 8:20 like clockwork. They’ve brought back to life just about every character, as if the actual storyline wasn’t hard enough to follow. Because the second season ended so long ago, I barely have a grip on who’s supposed to be alive or dead to begin with. And I’ll be damned if I have to go back and watch that garbage again. And miraculous resuscitations aside, there’s too much other stuff that just doesn’t make sense. Ali Larter must have a good contract, ‘cause when her character died she had another one waiting in the wings. Sylar’s all docile now. Why? Peter has the “hunger.” Why?! He can already have any power he wants by walking past the guy! And the slapstick adventures of Hiro and Ando Piss. Me. Off.
I’m just tired of the direction of the show in general. You’d think that by season three, these people would stop marveling over the fact that they have powers and start using them. But, no. Peter’s still a weak, little bitch. Something mildly interesting went down last night, but I’m wondering if I should just drop the show altogether. I watch too much TV as it is.
*Update: The series had its first good episode of the season this week and I am no longer nearly as infuriated.
Oh, Jerell. Why couldn’t you have just changed the dress?? Now I have to watch Kenley at Fashion Week. Worse, I have to concede that her wedding dress was better than yours. Damn.
This is one of the better seasons of Project Runway. Jerell, Korto, Leeanne, and Terri (even though she was gypped) were all awesome. And Kenley was so much fun to hate. So, no matter what happens at Fashion Week, at least I was entertained. I still hope Korto takes it, though. Even though Kenley’s collection looks solid, it’s still fun to hate on her. And Leeanne’s “waves” look weird.
One Tree Hill,
We're done. Finished. Over.
I gave you chance after chance. I tried to make it work. Don't you dare say I didn't try. You were just too stupid to notice. You're weighing me down, and I have to do what's best for me now. I'm sorry.
I didn't want to tell you like this, but there's someone else. I wasn't looking. You were just being so terrible that it was only a matter of time before someone else grabbed my attention. It's not the same with GG, but it's new and it's fresh and I think we have a future together.Leona Lewis, booted off the top of the Billboard 200 this week by none other than Mariah, performed on the most-watched TV show in America, American Idol, exactly one week after Mariah guest starred. She shut it down. She added her special libs and riffs and brought in pyrotechnics to make sure the audience payed attention. And compared with Mariah's questionable performance from last week...well, there is no comparison. Check it out.
Leona's stay at the top of the charts was brief, and it seems Mariah's will be as well with Madonna's much-hyped Hard Candy (which sounds a lot like it could be Gwen Stefani's third solo album) set to drop next week.
Just to be clear, before I receive hate mail, Mariah is a tremendous talent, that much is undeniable. But, her performance on last week's AI was, in short, not what one expects from arguably one of the world's greatest singers. It was pitchy, seemingly difficult for her, and I couldn't even tell you what was going on at the end, but it didn't sound good, or genuine. Watching Leona, it's just "Wow."
So, Girlicious comes on every Wednesday night right after Top Model, and I can't turn off my TV fast enough. I admittedly watched the first season of the show, but the premise was different; they were looking for a girl to add to the Pussycat Dolls, and this time around, creator Robin Antin wanted an entire new girl group. Which begs the question: just how many Pussycat Dolls does the world need? The show's over now and the group has not only been decided but has already released their first music video for lead single Like Me, which you can check out below. Now, Robin has said that Girlicious would aim for a slightly younger demographic than the Pussycat Dolls has targeted, but these girls are lookin' pretty trashy. They wear less clothes than PCD, but they may be to compensate for their general lack of talent; there's no Nicole or Melody in the group as far as vocals are concerned.
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