VMA 2009 Post Coverage

Another September, another MTV Video Music Awards broadcast. I'm sure MTV execs long for the days when an audience can be shocked by a pop star in a wedding dress writhing on the floor making sexually suggestive moves. Or even for the days when that same pop star can wow audiences by kissing two women. Alas, those days are gone. Our generation is perpetually unimpressed. But, here's what might have caught your attention this year.

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Of course, no award show could have ignored the biggest thing to happen to pop culture this year: Michael Jackson's death. The tribute to the King of pop was thorough and momentous including a grand speech by Madonna, choreography to some of Michael's greatest hits including Thriller and Bad, and, an icon in her own right, Janet Jackson performing Scream alongside Michael. Say whatever you will, and much has been said, but there will never be another.


The night took a negative turn shortly thereafter when Taylor Swift was awarded Best Female Video. Kanye West took Taylor's win over fellow nominee Beyoncé as a personal affront and took it upon himself to interrupt her acceptance speech, grab the mike from her hands and proclaim that Beyoncé had one of the greatest videos of all time. While what he said was 100% right, how he went about it was 100% wrong: it was incredibly disrespectful to everyone involved, but especially to 19-year-old Taylor. Kanye is an insufferable piece of shit.


Beyoncé later went on to win Video of the Year for Single Ladies and allowed Taylor another shot at her acceptance speech. Leave it to Kanye to make me feel sympathetic towards Taylor Swift (I really don't like that little girl very much).


The Twilight cast (who all looked absolutely miserable) was in attendance to premiere the extended trailer for their impending sequel, New Moon. Not gonna lie, it looks great. Can't wait to see the scenes with the Volturi. And, dear me, did you SEE Edward with his shirt off?! Good heavens.


Finally, Lady GaGa's performance, even after all the hype, was absolutely incredible.
Her vocals were the best I've ever heard them, the set was amazing, the concept brilliantly executed. Awesome, awesome. It's crazy to think that this is her first VMAs and she's only been in the spotlight for a year's time. She's so ahead of the game.

That's pretty much it for this year. Not the worst, not the best. Kinda meh. Below is a list of winners.

Video of the Year: Beyonce Knowles – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga – Poker Face
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem – We Made You
Best Male Video: T.I. ft Rihanna – Live Your Life
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears – Womanizer
Best Rock Video: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me
Best Video (That Should Have Won A Moonman): Beastie Boys – Sabotage
Breakthrough Video: Matt And Kim – Lessons Learned
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi
Best Choreography: Beyonce – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Cinematography: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Direction: Green Day – 21 Guns
Best Editing: Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga – Paparazzi

Janet Jackson's HB Cover, A New Job for Ellen, "I Got You on Candid Camera w/my iPod Nano!"

Miss Jackson is looking fabulous on the cover of October's Harper's Bazaar. Go here to read the exclusive interview, her first since Michael's death.

America's favorite lesbian will be on America's favorite TV show: it's been revealed that Ellen DeGeneres will be the fourth judge on American Idol this season, replacing Paula Abdul. Ellen's absolutely amazing, but how much does she know about singing??

Steve Jobs is back on his feet after liver transplant surgery. He says he's fortunate to be alive and urges everyone to become organ donors. I agree. Updates were relatively light for Apple this year; thankfully my original iPod Touch isn't horribly outdated (yet). You can however purchase a new, metallic iPod Nano complete with video camera. Yeah, 'cause that's necessary. Also, iTunes Version 9.0 is now available.

Janet on Michael, Chris Brown v. Oprah!, Lady GaGa's Hot Vag

A mum Janet Jackson has decided to pierce her silence regarding her brother's untimely death. The icon is set to cover the next Harper's Bazaar issue with an exclusive interview. Jackson is also working on her next film, Tyler Perry's How Did I Get Married, Too and is reportedly in the early stages of recording her 11th studio album, the follow-up to last year's Discipline. I'll be interested to hear the differences in her new material now that she has split from Def Jam and boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. At the very least, we can hope that Janet finds a label willing to promote more than one single.

Michael Jackson, who passed away over two months ago, was finally laid to rest yesterday, September 3rd. The lavish ceremony was befitting the king of popular music, whose legacy will undoubtedly continue to influence and inspire aspiring musicians for decades to come.

An audacious Chris Brown, apparently unimpressed with the pity party following his abrupt and much deserved fall from grace, has gone on record against Oprah in a recent interview. When asked about his feelings regarding Oprah's show focusing on abuse shortly after his assault against Rihanna, the brazen buffoon had the blazing gall to say this:

"I commend Oprah on being like, 'This is a problem,' but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, 'Okay, I'm going to help both of these people out.'"

Ummm, how about "no," bitch.

Of course, this little stunt didn't elicit a direct response from the Big O herself, but her people quickly responded:

"Oprah is very appreciative that Chris Brown performed at her school but she takes domestic abuse very seriously. She hopes he gets the counseling he needs."

Yes. Get help, asshole. Singing for children in Africa may sound like the ultimate tool for exoneration, but it doesn't mean the most influential woman in America should condone your disgusting behavior. Go get that counseling -- and stay off our radios and television sets in the meantime. Dick.

Lady GaGa is quite busy kicking ass and taking names, thank you very much. While making the rounds promoting her solo tour in Australia, our fair Lady was queried about the hermy rumors on a morning show in Brisbane. When asked about the "tiny penis issue" and whether the rumors offended or embarrassed her, GaGa retorted with:

"My beautiful vagina is very offended. I'm not offended — my vagina is offended. I've sold four million records in six months. I'm not embarrassed about anything. Those rumors [are based on] society's reaction to a strong woman — the idea that we equate strength with a man and a penis as a symbol of male strength."

Sadly, while her response was more than a little pretentious, feminist, and self-important, she's probably right. And I still love her.

Rock With Her

Here's the video for the second single off of Janet's new, top-charting album, Discipline. I love love loooove the choreography; Janet is gettin' it.

Discipline me, Janet

Janet has been on the trail this week, promoting her shiny, new album Disclipline. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly impressed. Watching Janet perform is always a bit of a spectacle and it's nice to see her in the public eye again -- hell, back on MTV again, but her performances of lead single Feedback have not quite been the bees knees. Knowing Janet would be lip-synching, I expected her to step the choreography up a notch, but she didn't change much from the video. And, even though I'm still not sure if she's dancing in a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or what, it looks better in the video.

However, her lackluster performance aside, Discipline is definitely the best Janet album of the 21st century. She didn't work with her staple producers this time around, opting to change things up a bit, but everyone she did work with managed to make it all sound very Janet. As opposed to showcasing their own talent and sticking Janet in, *cough, Blackout*. Many people, more accurately catty gay boys, will be comparing this album with Madonna's upcoming Hard Candy and I think Discipline will be a contender. It sounds more like a modernized Janet than a transparent attempt to keep her relevant. Which, I think bodes well for her and what we'll call her stumbling career as of late. We can all happily pretend Damita Jo and 20 Y.O. never happened now, yes?

*Update: Feedback may have fell short live, but Miss Jackson KILLS Rock With U. Enjoy.

It's February!

New month, new banner. Out with the Upper East Siders, and make room for Janet, who's dropping her tenth studio album, Discipline, on the 26th of this month. Check out the jukebox on Janet's official website to hear two new tracks from the album. Both are really hot, but I'm especially infatuated with Luv.

Hopefully, February will also be the month when Christina comes away with another Grammy. Awards are distributed on the 10th; be on the lookout for some great performances for their 50th anniversary celebration. Christina will almost definitely not be taking the stage after giving birth last month to her first son, but Janet was recently confirmed to be performing. Which is exciting, I can't remember the last time she performed at the Grammys.

And finally, the Oscars. Actors vie for the ultimate recognition of talent in their craft on the 24th. Oh, and how could I forget *cough, cough*, the SuperBowl is this weekend. Both should be entertaining enough, and if nothing else, provide an excuse to throw parties and get together with friends.

Happy February!

She's flyer than a pelican

I know I said this track was fire before, but gosh darn it!, it's still true so I'll say it again. FIRE! The video... I don't really know what she was going for during the first few minutes, but who cares once the choreography starts up?! Janet's still got it! And who knew she could keep her clothes on?? Kudos, Miss Jackson. That's right...I'm nasty.