Janet on Michael, Chris Brown v. Oprah!, Lady GaGa's Hot Vag

A mum Janet Jackson has decided to pierce her silence regarding her brother's untimely death. The icon is set to cover the next Harper's Bazaar issue with an exclusive interview. Jackson is also working on her next film, Tyler Perry's How Did I Get Married, Too and is reportedly in the early stages of recording her 11th studio album, the follow-up to last year's Discipline. I'll be interested to hear the differences in her new material now that she has split from Def Jam and boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. At the very least, we can hope that Janet finds a label willing to promote more than one single.

Michael Jackson, who passed away over two months ago, was finally laid to rest yesterday, September 3rd. The lavish ceremony was befitting the king of popular music, whose legacy will undoubtedly continue to influence and inspire aspiring musicians for decades to come.

An audacious Chris Brown, apparently unimpressed with the pity party following his abrupt and much deserved fall from grace, has gone on record against Oprah in a recent interview. When asked about his feelings regarding Oprah's show focusing on abuse shortly after his assault against Rihanna, the brazen buffoon had the blazing gall to say this:

"I commend Oprah on being like, 'This is a problem,' but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, 'Okay, I'm going to help both of these people out.'"

Ummm, how about "no," bitch.

Of course, this little stunt didn't elicit a direct response from the Big O herself, but her people quickly responded:

"Oprah is very appreciative that Chris Brown performed at her school but she takes domestic abuse very seriously. She hopes he gets the counseling he needs."

Yes. Get help, asshole. Singing for children in Africa may sound like the ultimate tool for exoneration, but it doesn't mean the most influential woman in America should condone your disgusting behavior. Go get that counseling -- and stay off our radios and television sets in the meantime. Dick.

Lady GaGa is quite busy kicking ass and taking names, thank you very much. While making the rounds promoting her solo tour in Australia, our fair Lady was queried about the hermy rumors on a morning show in Brisbane. When asked about the "tiny penis issue" and whether the rumors offended or embarrassed her, GaGa retorted with:

"My beautiful vagina is very offended. I'm not offended — my vagina is offended. I've sold four million records in six months. I'm not embarrassed about anything. Those rumors [are based on] society's reaction to a strong woman — the idea that we equate strength with a man and a penis as a symbol of male strength."

Sadly, while her response was more than a little pretentious, feminist, and self-important, she's probably right. And I still love her.